Part of the telling of this little story, more or less, needs a funny and somewhat uncomplimentary outline of an American woman. Unfortunately she fit the long established classic inexperienced American holiday maker image that wasn't often in touch with reality. She didn't know her very own private boundaries and larger than life tendency to seriously over blow and distort fact with frightening and virtually pathological frequency!
For the purpose of discretion, lets call this woman, Gracie. Gracie worked for the government in a very self assured over paid career capacity. She had fancied herself and painted a picture of herself to be a successful equestrian performer focusing on show jumping for which she made a claim to be actually short listed for the States Olympic Equestrian Team.
In reality, while she wasn't at all, except in her mind maybe, a certified rider or pony lady, she was actively in the market for a 'hot prospect ' that would 'suit her raised level of feat in the equestrian world ' ... An expertly trained prospect hat she could 'bring along'.
She was first to tell each one that she had been riding 'most of her life'. She put the final touches to all this, when asked by the European show barn that was helping her in selection of possible equine candidates for her upcoming visit, that she was 5'10" tall and 135 pounds and so needed a huge show jumper.
In fact, Gracie was 5'2" and a straightforward 240 pounds. She used to be a beginning rider, in every sense, with 2 years of part time instruction under her belt and none as a jumper! As planned on the designated day, Gracie landed in Florence, Italy, ready to take her, shortly to be terrible, show on the road to meet her new friends at the barn to look at their horses for sale.
She went to the mini bus hire service desk to obtain her auto for the following couple of days. The male attendant, trying to do his job, began to orient Gracie to her new car and responsibility. The attendant asked Gracie if she would prefer an automated transmission like most American ladies at which time she haughtily informed him that the standard was fine and she could 'drive as good as any man! ' With that she began her show! By then she was unhappy to even listen to some pointers on driving her automobile hire in Italy. After many vain tries to get going and making an absolute fool of herself, she came back to the service counter and angrily announced something was wrong with the car. She of course asked a newer one. They discreetly brought her a new one with an automatic transmission this time, and she was able to move on with out further event.
Act II involved a highway police officer and a rather tense roadside lecture on the guidelines and traffic signs in use in Italy. As he spotlighted, this could have all been evaded by a minute or two of preliminary research on the subject on Google. Act III was the best! When she got to the show barn, she 'was in no mood"! This particular show barn has a perfect status as the most hospitable and gracious equestrian facility in western Europe, and as the scene unfolded on this actual day, it was clear they had their work cut out for them.
Fast forwarding past some of the priceless detail we find our Princess being delicately informed that a couple of the horses they believed might be prospects, would not be suitable as both could not perform effectively unless the rider was highly experienced and had a more balanced body type. She was able to contain herself, because just at that moment, they brought out a definitely stunning large black gelding.
There wasn't any mistaking the tell tale signs of a novice rider. She couldn't even get on the horse....then, try as she might, she couldn't get him to go forward! With an I'll show you approach, she kicked him super hard in both flanks, losing her balance and falling forward onto his neck, at which time she was flicked insignificantly and unceremoniously at least 12 feet in the air in a double or treble (nobody could tell for sure) backward flip of sorts onto the soft dirt of a well looked after arena, right in front of the extensive network of cameras for all to see! This gigantic gelding would no more take that from her than he would jump in front of a tube train! Her last act was up, and, to say the least, all her story telling and pretentiousness didn't put 'humpty dumpty ' back together again! ". Finally, humiliated, she stormed off without saying another word.
For the purpose of discretion, lets call this woman, Gracie. Gracie worked for the government in a very self assured over paid career capacity. She had fancied herself and painted a picture of herself to be a successful equestrian performer focusing on show jumping for which she made a claim to be actually short listed for the States Olympic Equestrian Team.
In reality, while she wasn't at all, except in her mind maybe, a certified rider or pony lady, she was actively in the market for a 'hot prospect ' that would 'suit her raised level of feat in the equestrian world ' ... An expertly trained prospect hat she could 'bring along'.
She was first to tell each one that she had been riding 'most of her life'. She put the final touches to all this, when asked by the European show barn that was helping her in selection of possible equine candidates for her upcoming visit, that she was 5'10" tall and 135 pounds and so needed a huge show jumper.
In fact, Gracie was 5'2" and a straightforward 240 pounds. She used to be a beginning rider, in every sense, with 2 years of part time instruction under her belt and none as a jumper! As planned on the designated day, Gracie landed in Florence, Italy, ready to take her, shortly to be terrible, show on the road to meet her new friends at the barn to look at their horses for sale.
She went to the mini bus hire service desk to obtain her auto for the following couple of days. The male attendant, trying to do his job, began to orient Gracie to her new car and responsibility. The attendant asked Gracie if she would prefer an automated transmission like most American ladies at which time she haughtily informed him that the standard was fine and she could 'drive as good as any man! ' With that she began her show! By then she was unhappy to even listen to some pointers on driving her automobile hire in Italy. After many vain tries to get going and making an absolute fool of herself, she came back to the service counter and angrily announced something was wrong with the car. She of course asked a newer one. They discreetly brought her a new one with an automatic transmission this time, and she was able to move on with out further event.
Act II involved a highway police officer and a rather tense roadside lecture on the guidelines and traffic signs in use in Italy. As he spotlighted, this could have all been evaded by a minute or two of preliminary research on the subject on Google. Act III was the best! When she got to the show barn, she 'was in no mood"! This particular show barn has a perfect status as the most hospitable and gracious equestrian facility in western Europe, and as the scene unfolded on this actual day, it was clear they had their work cut out for them.
Fast forwarding past some of the priceless detail we find our Princess being delicately informed that a couple of the horses they believed might be prospects, would not be suitable as both could not perform effectively unless the rider was highly experienced and had a more balanced body type. She was able to contain herself, because just at that moment, they brought out a definitely stunning large black gelding.
There wasn't any mistaking the tell tale signs of a novice rider. She couldn't even get on the horse....then, try as she might, she couldn't get him to go forward! With an I'll show you approach, she kicked him super hard in both flanks, losing her balance and falling forward onto his neck, at which time she was flicked insignificantly and unceremoniously at least 12 feet in the air in a double or treble (nobody could tell for sure) backward flip of sorts onto the soft dirt of a well looked after arena, right in front of the extensive network of cameras for all to see! This gigantic gelding would no more take that from her than he would jump in front of a tube train! Her last act was up, and, to say the least, all her story telling and pretentiousness didn't put 'humpty dumpty ' back together again! ". Finally, humiliated, she stormed off without saying another word.
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